Many parents reach out to me seeking guidance and advice on how to navigate parenting through the college admissions process. Here is what you, as a parent, can focus on. I, too, will be a parent for this cycle, so I need to take my own advice this year as well.
If you are positive about your teen, then your teen will be positive about themself. Focus on helping guide your teen, not tell them, what they need to do, should do, or must change to become a valid applicant to a reputable college. How you talk to your teen, talk about your teen in front of them and how you react to your teen’s mistakes directly effects how they feel about themself. Your teen is not an outcome or trophy. The student is a human.
If you attempt to be too involved in the college application process, then your teen will feel like they are not capable of handling it themself. Don’t be a snowplow parent. Do not ask too many questions and nag. You are not applying to college, they are. Do not re-write their essays. Let them write. Admissions representatives can certainly tell if a 17-year old or a 50-year-old wrote the essays.
Assist your teen in creating a balanced college list with equal number of likely, target and reach schools. This will give them the best opportunity of having multiple options to choose from once decisions arrive. A list with too many reach schools is unrealistic and does not work.
Do not read social media ‘college admissions’ accounts on Facebook. That’s essentially falling down a rabbit hole of wrong information. It will cause you added stress which will then cause your student stress too.
Don’t make every conversation about college admissions. Enjoy your last year with your teen at home. Enjoy senior year and let the college admissions process happen naturally.
Help your teen create a calendar so they have their time organized for when to do everything in a timely manner. Timelines help both the parent and teen feel grounded.
Let your teen make mistakes. He needs to learn how to build character, problem solve and build self-confidence.
When your teen lands on a college campus, he will inevitably face new problems in life. How will they have the needed skills to problem solve, deal with homesickness and/or approach a teacher about a question if they never had the chance to do so in high school? There is no perfect teen. There is no perfect applicant. There is no perfect parent.