Your teen is not an outcome. He is a human.

Many parents have reached out to me over the past week regarding the college admissions scandal. While it was surprising in content and depth, it was not alarming that people of wealth can ‘cheat’ the system. I have decided to write about what you, as a parent, can focus on. You may not like what I have to say. That’s ok, sometimes the best advice is the hardest to hear.

1. If you are positive about your teen, then your teen will be positive about himself. Focus on helping guide your teen, not tell him what he needs to do, should do, or must change to become a valid applicant to a reputable college. How you talk to your teen, talk about your teen in front of him and how you react to your teen’s mistakes directly effects how he feels about himself. Your teen is not an outcome. He is a human.

2. If you attempt to be too involved in the college application process, then your teen will feel like he is not capable of doing so himself. Don’t be a snowplow parent. You are not applying to college, he is. Do not re-write his essays. Let him write. Admissions representatives can certainly tell if a 17-year old or a 50-year old wrote the essay.

3. Snowplow parent: What is that? It’s the new term, as ‘helicopter parent’ is the old term used about 10 years ago. If you try to roll out a red carpet for your teen, turn over every stone so nothing is missed then you are setting your teen up to not gain the chance to build her own skills in time management, problem solving and how to pick herself up from a bad experience, bad test score and failed attempt at anything in life.

4. Let your teen make mistakes. He needs to learn how to build character, problem solving skills and self-confidence.

When your teen lands on a college campus, he will inevitably face new problems in life. How will he have the needed skills to problem solve, deal with homesickness and/or approach a teacher about a question if he never had the chance to do so in high school? There is no perfect teen. There is no perfect applicant.

Guide your teen but let him fall and fail. A dear friend just said to me how “Life is messy. Life is hard.” So humans need the skills to bounce back from the messy and challenging situations in life to live a fulfilling and happy one.

A few thoughts on how to make the final decision

Dear Senior,

After you receive all of your college admission decisions, you will need to assess your choices and make a final decision.

1. Lay out all of your acceptances on a table. Look at each school and think over how each makes you feel.

   1. How does the college make you feel?

   2. Review the location and size of each school

   3. At which college can you imagine yourself at most? Why?

2. Re-visit Campus: Many schools offer an accepted student day. If not, make a plan to re-visit a few campuses, if you are unsure of which to choose to attend.

   1. Meet with financial aid if you have any questions.

   2. Ask about important issues to you such as housing, res life, support services for students such as disability resource center or mental health support.

   3. Talk with current students while on campus.

3. Compare financial aid awards and contact the offices with questions.

4. While there is no rush, make sure you do not miss the deadline for notifying a college.

5. There is NO perfect school. Sorry folks, but it’s true. Just like all decisions in life, it’s part of your journey and what YOU make of college is what you’ll gain. And congratulations!

Time to make your summer plans

Although we still have a few weeks left of winter, this is the time to make your summer plans. Here are a few ideas. Remember, you can’t go wrong with plans that make you feel happy and fulfilled. But, you can go wrong if you don’t do anything over the summer. Do something, for sure.

1. Job: Job rates for summer employment are down but that does not mean that it’s looked down upon to hold a job. In fact, your resume and college application will look great with some type of work experience, especially if you find the work fun and rewarding. Every type of job has a take away, in fact, working by waiting tables, serving food or helping others teaches many life long learning skills. (I worked for the US Post Office for two summers and I learned a lot about myself from that job experience!)

2. Volunteer: To me, this too is a job and can be more rewarding than a paid position if you find a volunteer opportunity that fits your interests. I worked with a student who was interested in nursing, so she volunteered at a local hospital. She delivered menus, newspapers and magazines to patients. This position exposed her to the operation and administration of how a hospital functions. And it also helped her decide whether she definitely wanted to pursue a nursing degree.

3. ‘Job Shadow’: This entails reaching out and asking a person who works in a professional field that may be of interest to you and ‘shadow’ her for a day. The summer is a great time to do so. A student I worked with last year, reached out to her former elementary school teacher as she is very interested in pursuing a degree in elementary education. She was able to ‘shadow’ her former teacher for a day and learn more about teaching.

4. Create something new and think outside the box!: Use your time over the summer to create a business, organize a camp or create a project. For example, a student I work with, who is an avid golfer, created a golf camp for kids. It is a three day camp, that he and his former high school teammate organize and they even have a tournament and trophy on the last day. He used creativity, leadership, and management skills to design the golf camp from scratch!

5. Rest: Yes, you read it, rest. Although I do not mean to say, rest all summer but make sure you travel, rest at home, take time off to re-charge between your school years. Summer is a time to enjoy yourself!

5 Tips to prepare for midterms

1.    Create a midterm study schedule

How many exams do you have and when? Create a list of tests and add them to your calendar so you can use that to design a plan and study schedule.

2.    Use class and teacher review sessions the week before to help you understand how to study the material on your own.

a.     Organize and use review packets and study guides

b.     Use study suggestions made by the teacher

c.      What is the format of the test?

d.     Gather all of your notes from September through today and organize them with your previous tests. Using past tests to study from is key as this will help you know what your teacher feels is important. Learn from past mistakes and review.

3.    Know how you will be tested. Use Quizlet and other creative means of study. Create a method of study that matches the class content and test format.

a.     For example, if a history teacher gives you a study guide in an outline format- use this to create a test on Quizlet.com. You can create a quiz in the same format that your teacher will be asking of you.

b.     Ask your teacher how you will be tested. Then use note cards, Quizlet, study groups or practice answering in short answer or essay format.

*PRACTICE ANSWERING in the same format as the midterm.*

4. Sleep

Don’t skip sleeping. Make sure you give yourself the time to rest, hydrate and eat well, leading up to exam week.

5.    Be Confident

The only person holding you back from doing well on a test is yourself. Don’t let fear of failure, fear of success or lack of preparation hold you back. Use the above tips to help you feel secure in your ability to do well. It’s just a test. Own it! You’ve got this!

2019: Thinking ahead for sophomores and freshman…

As you near the latter half of your school year, here are few topics to keep in mind and to work on going forward.

1.     Course selection for next year:

Over the next two months, you will most likely meet with your guidance counselor. You will talk through your remaining required courses and how best to complete them before the end of senior year.

For sophomores, as you move into your upperclassmen years, you will have more selection and electives to chose from. Read your high school course catalog and programs of study.

 Trying to determine if you should take a CP, Honors or AP level course? A good indicator is to determine if you are struggling at the current course level. If you are receiving a ‘B’ or better, you are most likely at the right level. If you are struggling, it may be good to speak with your guidance counselor to move into a better fit next year. And if you are sailing through and are bored, try a higher-level course next year.

2. This leads me to say to each and every one of you to make sure and ask questions if you are struggling in a course. The only person who will regret not taking ownership of his/her studies is him/herself.

 Time management and taking ownership of understanding course content is the student’s responsibility. Make sure to stay on top of both of these items but using a planner, meeting with teachers during after school hours or during ‘drop’ class sessions to make sure you understand what will be asked of you on the next test. 

At many high schools, midterms and finals are a combined 20% of your grade. The teachers are usually available to meet with you during the week leading up to midterms. Use this time to review material from the beginning of the school year. Make note cards, use study groups, and create a test on Quizlet for you to take.

3.     Standardized Tests: If you have taken a PSAT already, you may want to take a practice ACT next in order to assess which test you will focus on preparing for. Students should not take both but should choose and prep for one of them. 3 attempts at a test is the maximum. Typically, students take one of the tests twice.

4.     Summer Plans: Are you traveling, working, or attending camp during the summer months? It’s time to start to think about applying to jobs, registering for camps and discussing with your parents what you would like to do over the summer break.

 You’ve got this!

Hey Juniors, it's 2019! It's your year to apply to college.

This is your year to apply to college. Here is a short list of items to either keep working on or to get started on.

 1.     Junior Year grades and activities: This year is the most important for your grades and activities. If your transcript shows in improvement in your grades during 11th grade, it will be looked upon highly. Keep up your studies.

ASK QUESTIONS if you are struggling in a course. The only person who will regret not taking ownership of his/her studies is his/herself.

 Time management and taking ownership of understanding course content is the student’s responsibility. Make sure to stay on top of both of these items but using a planner, meeting with teachers during after school hours or ‘drop’ class sessions to make sure you understand what will be asked of you on the next test.

2.     In May or June, you will need to ask 2 teachers for a letter of recommendation.

a.     Ask in person

b.     Say thank you

c.      Share with them why you are asking

d.     Ask a teacher that has had you in his/her class preferably during junior or sophomore year(s).

3.     Standardized Tests: Do you know which test you are taking? SAT or ACT? Create a plan on when to take it and either take a prep class or hire a tutor to help you prepare. Test strategy is KEY to succeeding on both tests. (And by all means, do not register for the June ACT if your Junior Prom is the night before.)

4.     Also plan your time to visit campuses and research schools with your parents. Spring break is a great time in April as colleges are still in session. Many offer open houses on the weekends too.

5.     Summer plans: Working, going to camp, going on a fancy vacation? Regardless, please plan on writing your common app essay during the summer months. You will not regret this.  

Good Luck!

College Fair Tips

Fall is a busy season for taking standardized tests, visiting a college campus or two and for attending your high school college fair.

Attending a Fall College Fair is one of the best first steps in your college search.

Here are a few tips to consider.

1.   All high school students should take the time to attend. I’ve been asked if it’s ‘really worth it’ for an underclassmen to attend. Yes, it is.

2.   Upon arrival, pick up a map of the fair and look to visit the tables for schools you may have already identified.

3.   Introduce yourself to the college representative. That’s right, shake the rep’s hand and say hello. It’s great practice to talk with adults informally but in a respectful manner.

4.   If you have any specific interest, make sure to ask about them such as study abroad options or a certain major you are looking to pursue.

5.   Do not specifically ask what is your ‘chance for admission’ but ask what is the range in GPA, test scores and personal qualities the school is looking for in applicants.

6.   Visit two or three schools for which you have never heard of. This is a great way to expand your thoughts about where to attend and to learn of different types of schools: Private Universities, Colleges, State Universities, etc.

7.   Fill out information cards with your name, high school and year of graduation, address, email address, etc. If you have time, make labels prior to attending to speed up the process!

Have fun. Attending fairs is a fun and exciting time to see what is out there! Ask questions a

Understanding Financial Aid

Financial Aid is broken down into two sections: Need-based and Merit-based.

1. Need-based aid is awarded to students by submitting the FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid) and/or the CSS Profile (College Board). Even if you do not think you are eligible for need-based aid, fill out the FAFSA (and CSS if need be).

The Department of Education and the institutions you are applying to determine if you are eligible for need-based support by subtracting your EFC (Expected Family Contribution) from COA (Cost of Attendance) at each college or university.

Students do not need to pay back an educational grant or award but do need to pay back loans (subsidized loan payment starts approximately 6 months after graduation and unsubsidized loan payment begins immediately).  Loans are the bulk of most financial aid packages. Know the difference between loans. (Private loans are the most expensive.)

Need-based aid is awarded by a combination of the following:

·      Loans (such as Direct Unsubsidized Loans, Grad PLUS Loans and Parent PLUS Loans, Perkins and Subsidized Stafford Loans)

·      Federal Pell Grants

·      State Grants

·      Federal work-study Programs

2. Merit-based aid is awarded regardless of financial ability to pay for college. It is usually based on special talents such as athletics, music or academic. Mostly, need-based aid is awarded through scholarships given by universities, states, and local organizations. Make sure to apply for awards through your high school’s scholarship/awards handbook during senior year. It can add up.  

Merit-based aid:

Money is awarded to students regardless of need. Merit aid can be awarded for:

·      Tuition Waivers

·      Scholarships (such as academic or athletic)

·      Awards

To find a comprehensive list of helpful Financial Aid information click here:

https://www.suzannelagemann.com/helpful-links/

Applying for Financial Aid

Applying for need based aid is an important component of the college application process. Each institution requests that you do so. I highly recommend that you apply even if you do not think your household is eligible for need-based aid. (See my article on Understanding Financial Aid).

1. Create a FSA ID

https://fsaid.ed.gov/npas/index.htm

Students need to create an ID in order to gain access to the Federal Student Aid’s website. This should be completed in the student’s name ONLY.

2. Complete the FAFSA after October 1.

https://fafsa.ed.gov/

Free Application for Federal Student Aid is available on October 1, 2018. Ten colleges or universities can be listed. (If you need to list more than 10, you will have to wait until after you receive an email stating that your FAFSA has been processed to add more schools.)

Please note that the FAFSA is to be completed in the student’s name. Many parents fill out these forms but it should be in the student’s name.

3. Check the Institutional financial aid deadlines. They will vary depending on if you are applying ED or rolling, etc.

 Make a plan (create a spreadsheet) on when you need to apply for each school as per their website or call each Financial Aid Office. You do not want to miss a financial aid deadline. No question is silly. Ask the schools for clarification, if needed.

4. Check to see if any of the schools you are applying to ALSO ask that you complete the CSS Profile: https://cssprofile.collegeboard.org/

The College Board administers the CSS Profile and it is mostly used by private schools.

It asks for your financial history and information in more detail than the FAFSA. Again, check school websites to check for deadlines. 

5. Last, when does your high school hand out their Scholarship/Awards Directory? Most do so in the early Winter months. Make sure to know and grab one so you can apply for as many as possible.

To Pledge or not to pledge: 4 tips to discuss before your college student decides to join Greek life.

On many college campuses, first year orientation has commenced! If the school has a Greek Life system, he will inevitably see a Greek Life Information Fair on the Quad or become friends with first-year students who are interested in pledging.

Is Greek life the big social scene at her school? How many sororities and fraternities are on campus?

Here are a few issues to discuss with your teen before he or she decides to pledge.

 1.    Can First-year Students Pledge?

Many universities have policy and procedures as to when and how an underclassman can pledge. It is important for your teen to know this before deciding. It is wise for a school to not permit first year students to pledge, or at least during their first semester. Many have this rule in place due to the volatility it can cause in the student’s experience.

Students should be allowed to transition to college without the pressure of pledging during the first term or year. This will allow the student to develop the needed social and emotional skills, time management, and study and test taking skills needed to succeed.

2.     Not every Organization is the same: Research the back story of the Greek Organization and Chapter:

Has the sorority been on campus for decades? Is the fraternity a national organization or local group? Google and research for any negative information and talk to others who may be familiar with the sorority or fraternity.

3.    Is your Teen ready?

Does your college student have the maturity to balance school, Greek life and other responsibilities such as a part time job or sport?  Waiting to pledge till sophomore year will help your student see if he has the skills needed to succeed as a fraternity member.

4.    Discuss the Benefits:

Your teen can reap the benefit of becoming included in a group that may focus on community service work, a certain industry and/or future networking with older alumna. It can help develop a sense of security during her college years and she can graduate with a network that can help with both social and career goals.